The Glob & Wail: 11/1/04

11/30/2004

11/29/2004

Ghost Boosters

Like many cities Ottawa has a tour of 'haunted' places. These haunted places are conveniently located within walking distance of each other. One of the haunts is the old jailhouse which is now a youth hostel. It's just down the street and we meet in the courtyard for the Sunday hikes. It's also the site of the last public hanging in Canada. Patrick Whelan was hanged for the murder of Darcy McGee one of the fathers of Confederation.

This afternoon I took this picture of the Haunted Walk booth. After I paid $324.00 to have the film instantly developed at Japan Camera (this was not taken with a digital camera and I've never heard of Adobe Photoshop, which I don't know how to use anyway) I was astounded to see this image that appears to be John Candy as Uncle Buck posing for the camera. What a ham!It's nice too see that even the dead have a sense of humour.

11/28/2004

Valerie Allard's SUPERSIZE

Valerie Allard's SuperSize at Pleiades Gallery, Dec. 2 - 18, 2004, packages high culture as digestible consumer products. If a painting cannot be supersized, should it really be marketed? If history cannot be presented in entertaining, purchasable units, can it engage us?

The City Prepares For Tuesday

Dream Take Two

There are four or five of us playing in a small courtyard. Someone kicks the ball into the street. I go after it and I can some kids running from the direction of the harbour. A boy warns us that the "slavers" are coming. We scramble and scatter. The slavers are a foreign press gang here to take the young men to man their navy. I run into the house which is a labyrinth of halls and stairs and doorways. I find a hiding place. The press gang are in the room next to me and I can hear them talking with my parents. They are asking where the "young boy" went and threaten to burn down the house if they don't tell. I come out and see that the press gang consists of a single man and a woman with short blonde hair and glasses. I grab her glasses off her face and pop a lens out of the frame. This seems to give me control over the situation. I tell them to get out and never return to our island or the lens will be destroyed.For some reason this threatens them and they leave.

When I wake up I remember this dream and then fall back asleep and dream it again but the details change. This time there is a wedding in the field behind the house. I run
out into the field and there are lot's of children running with me. I'm torn between wanting to protect them and trying to get away from them because they are making so much noise. It ends as I hide between some enormous blankets hanging out to dry behind a line of pine trees.

11/27/2004

Dragon Hunting

This is the Red Dragon I bought for Jack today. I think he's going to love it. If he doesn't I've given it orders to bite his nose.

Protesting Election Results

Just down the street in front of the Russian embassy there is a gathering of people protesting the Ukranian election results. The fear is that because Vladimir Putin has accepted the results as legitimate that Russia is trying to unduly influence Ukrainian sovereignty.
In other news Bush will be here on Tuesday and the downtown will be shut down in Ottawa and across the river in Hull. I'll see if I can get some pictures. The Toronto Star asks "Is Bush a Weenie?"

Irish Origin

My father has been doing a lot of geneological research and he discovered that the first MacDougall to arrive in Canada in 1802 was an Irish Catholic. He was the first and last it seems as he married into a Scottish world a Gibson girl in Lanark County which isn't far from where I now live. It's kind of funny to think that family has been here for over 200 years with all the moving I've done. So maybe we are related after all Jack m'lad. I still don't know where in Ireland though.

Three Rivers

American neo-theocracy, China's ascension, Islamic fundamentalism. These are the three most developed streams that history travels down right now. They are the fissures that bleed out of the monolith they call globalism. Okay, that's all I had to say and how was your night?

11/26/2004

Big Ol' Yellow Moon

The sun drops pretty fast at this time of year and when it did on our evening walk it felt like a sheet of ice fell on us and we were about an hour from home. Compensation was in the form of a huge yellow moon that shone through the trees.

National Mythology

Killer Kane has shone the light on the cracks of a precious Canadian myth about the burning of Washington, but you see we figure most of you Yanks don't know or care much about the history of that war so we took it and ran. Killer Kane himself has a bit in common with our beloved Leslie Neilson in that he too was born and raised in our precious Northern Paradise™ so of course he knows the "truth". Just ask him about Laura Secord, the American born Canadian sacred goddess of chocolate and disguise or Prime Minister Mackenzie King's crystal ball and talking dogs..

That's King in the middle. Canadian children are taught that Roosevelt and Churchill were his lackeys. King was single handedly responsible for ending WWII thanks to his psychic powers. He also invented the "original" Atomic Bomb in his kitchen (hint it was made with gin).

Ccccold

Winter has arrived. The leaves are frozen on the ground. The puddles are ice. My breath is a solid. Last night snowflakes whirled and twirled in the streetlights glow.Still no toque;)

11/25/2004

Happy Thanksgiving My Yankee Friends

Since most of you who visit the old Glob live in the USA I'd like to take a Thanksgiving moment. Though you lost the War of 1812 when my countrymen marched down to Washington and burned the original White House to the ground you seem to harbour no ill will against us. And for that we thank you. I suppose that's one of the great things about not teaching history in your schools (says the smug Canadian. I'm kidding. A friendly jibe. It's all we have up here okay.) And so since that scenario is not likely to reoccur I also give thanks on this day that you still haven't invaded us and snatched up all our natural resources (alright besides our self-righteous smugness and long tradition of exporting our best comics and performers like William Shatner and Leslie Nielson to Hollywood that's all we have.I mean you even took Leonard Cohen! We would like to trade him back in exchange for Avril Lavigne and Shania Twain if possible.) I'm sure you'll get them through NAFTA loopholes eventually.

But seriously have a Happy Thanksgiving!And remember we invented Basketball!

Who Said it?

"There is no yearning-to-be-liberated-by-the-US groundswell among Muslim societies -- except to be liberated perhaps from what they see as apostate tyrannies that the US so determinedly promotes and defends"

Where is this quote from?

a) Noam Chomsky's Blog
b) Alternet.org
C) Batman #642
d) A High Level report by a Pentagon advisory board

Well yeah it's the last one because the first two are too obvious so why else would I frame it this way. But basically the report outlines the Bush administrations lack of leadership and the resulting utter failure to deal with the real problem: no one outside of the USA likes them.

Good Morning

No I haven't been up all night again. In fact I went to bed at 9 O'clock last night so I have had about 7.5 hrs sleep. I actually find it much easier to get up at 4 or 5 in the morning than at 7 or 8 so long as I've gotten a good amount of sleep.

11/24/2004

Beware of Limping.

For some reason Luna has never liked people who limp. She growls at them under her breath. Today an elderly man was coming down the step. She saw him before I did as I looked to see what she was growling for. She slinks down low and gives him the evil glare. He walks towards us and to distract her I say "cookie" this gets her attention just long enough so we can pass withou embarressment.
This seems to be an inate behaviour as most of the time she "warns" me that a limping person is in sight, so she's not picking up cues from me. She doesn't like people on skis or rollerblades either, even people she otherwise loves, so it must have something to do with what she observes as unusual movement.

He's Scared of the ALF Doll Too!

Well it's official. Bush can't handle the Canadian Parliamentary system. He won't speak before the Canadian Parliament on his first official visit. The conjecture is that he is afraid of being heckled.Typical.

Insomnia and Haunted Dolls

The internet is great for those nights when you can't sleep a wink. I should never consume cafeine after 5:00 pm. A little goes a long way in my system. In any case I've made many interesting discoveries this evening, seen things I wished I hadn't, been places I'll never return to. One of the more bizarre things I bumped into on my journeys are Haunted Dolls. If you need one of your own there are tons of them on ebay.There's even a haunted Cabbage Patch doll and this evil ALF doll.

HELP ME! HELP MY FAMILY!
RID US OF THIS EVIL ALF DOLL!
THIS DOLL IS HAUNTED! POSSESSED!
I'M AFRAID IT'S GOING TO KILL ME AND MY FAMILY!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I AM AFRAID OF THIS EVIL ALF DOLL AND CAN NO LONGER WATCH RERUNS OF THE SHOW, FOR IT TERRIFIES ME NOW.

THANK YOU

Why not buy them all and have a haunting contest to see which doll is the spookiest! There's other haunted items available to like the haunted jar (a steal at 1.99). A haunted Music Box, the haunted Victorian cast iron jolly money box, the haunted mirror and the cursed mystery box which the owner claims "IT EVEN MADE ME DRESS UP LIKE A CLOWN WHEN I WAS A KID TO TRY TO COMPLETE IT'S EVIL PURPOSE!! "

I Just Peed My Pants!

A while back Queen Shiv sent out a link to a car ad that was never aired. There was supposed to have some kind of eerie ghost thing in it. I couldn't get it to play before but I found a reference to it at the Museum of Hoaxes it's supposed to be some kind of mist coming up from the side of the car. This scared the heebie jeebies out of me. Remember it's 4:00 in the morning!

Bee News

I should be sound asleep but I was catching up on the Daily Show video clips and time just flew by. I was pleased to discover that Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee is a fellow Canadian. She comes from Toronto and graduated from U of Ottawa just down the street.

In other Bee news their is a UK drink marketed to kids called Boo Bee Juice.Tee hee snicker snicker.

and just what are these fruits up to on this German Candy wrapper? I guess things realy are more liberal in Europe!

New Blog Discovered

I came across this blog "I'm Nacho Steppinstone" by way of Cacao who wrote don't read Jonnie before you go to bed. So I did and it's a hoot and a hlaf. Shiver in terror over Knecht Ruprecht the sadistic German rival to Santa Claus, Marvel at the gallery of antique anti-masturbation devices and electric bras. Shake your head in disbelief in the fact that Jonnie 7-11 has just obtained an internship at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library & Museum! Jonnie is found regularly as a bat to your right.

Kevin Sites Blog

Here is the blog of Kevin Sites the embedded journalist who took the video of the marine who shot the wounded Iraqi. He explains here what he experienced.

Making sure you know the basis for my choices after the incident is as important to me as knowing how the incident went down. I did not in any way feel like I had captured some kind of "prize" video. In fact, I was heartsick. Immediately after the mosque incident, I told the unit's commanding officer what had happened. I shared the video with him, and its impact rippled all the way up the chain of command. Marine commanders immediately pledged their cooperation.

11/23/2004

Over an ocean away
Like salmon
Turning back for Nayram
To the delta
With the rivulets tumbling down
Glide over sand
Around the rocks
Back through the wavering weeds
And the turds
In the way
Riversmell
On the route
Along away
Over gravel
The weirs of the tributaries
Against the icy waterflow
To Maryan

11/22/2004

When Peckers Meet.

courtesy of Sandra

George W. Bush stood for his official Thanksgiving Day portrait today. When aides to the President questioned the unusual choice of pose, Bush responded "Americans want a President who is not afraid and this is the best way to show that. I will not back down, I will stay steadfast and firm. I refuse to send the message to America's enemies that I am weak and I will support our troops down to the last man standing even with a turkey in my pants!"

Update:When questioned the turkey later verified that Bush was indeed firm.

Corporal Dakin pretends to be amused by Bush's special sauce joke.

11/21/2004

Cleopatra the Philosopher

Unpublished medieval Arabic manuscripts depict Cleopatra in a different light than the image that has come down to us through the Romans and Shakespeare:
"Cleopatra is a scientist, a medical doctor, a woman who had invented a theory of mathematics and, above all, a well-known philosopher,"

11/20/2004

Music Legend

Tonight I dug out this XTC CD I bought a few years ago. It's a Japanese pressing. It pretends to be a Vinyl lp complete with the original packaging in micro CD size. The sound is so &^*&%^%*$ng good it's as if god came down and gave me a new stereo. So the legends are true.

Luna @5

11/19/2004

It all Makes Scents

I walked through a hedge of freshly cut cedar smell.
I swam through a river of fresh bread scent under a half-moon pastry
I looked for the home of the wandering perfume ghosts that mulled through the crowd

It seems that my sense of smell is improving. When I worked at the Sticky Wicket my sense of smell noticably diminished. I've always thought that the dense smoky atmosphere of the workplace had something to do with that. The air in Ottawa is noticeably fresher than in Montreal. It's not pristine but there isn't the industry. You can't smoke in public places ie bars here either. What ever the reason I notice odours more lately. It's nice (most of the time). They are like little poems with powers of conjuring that words do not possess.

Lost Dog

Yesterday as Luna and I were leaving for our walk I ran ahead and hid in the laundry room down the hall. She had her leash on and I could hear her dragging it as she moved slowly after me. Her tags jingled closer to where I waited. When her head appeared around the corner and she looked up at me with her sad expression, another image of a dog peeking around the corner of a building in the street came to me. I was suddenly flooded with emotion and felt like crying and I didn't know why. It occurred to me that this was an image from a movie that had been shown to us in a grade two class. It was the story of a French boy who had a dog he loves. The dog gets free and runs away through the streets of his city. The rest of the film the boy spends looking for his dog. Finally he sees it peeking around a corner. He is elated. I was elated. Then as the dog comes forward the boy sees that a blind man is being led by the dog. The boy realizes that his dog is gone forever. Our family had a dog then. Her name was Cindy and I was aware that she had the same birthday as me born a year earlier. I loved Cindy and we followed each other everywhere it seems to me. As Cindy aged she went blind herself. She lost all her senses. That film buried itself deep inside me and has been there all these years forgotten but alive until yesterday when Luna looked at me as if in askance. "Why did you leave me"?

11/18/2004

Distraction

The Thrill is in the Kill

So much for the hunter's defence that it's all about getting back to nature. Will remote control internet hunting become a new Texas tradition?

11/17/2004

Canadian Visitor

G. W. Bush is making a visit to Ottawa at the end of the month. It's his first official state visit to Canada. He and Chretien didn't get along at all. Probably because there was only room enough for one arrogant bastard in the room at a time. While Jean thought Bush was a wreckless man and Bush probably didn't think much of Chretien period, Martin is much better schooled in sucking up. It doesn't matter who the President is, he's the President and you defer to him. Canada depends on this relationship to exist. So the American President comes to Canada - a little bit of that special Bush style free speech and democracy marching after him. Which means Martin has told his caucus to keep their thoughts to themselves. It's the "If you can't say something nice don't say it at all" school of self-experession. For instance MP Carolyn Parrish who called Bush a "war-like" leader will probably have to now call him a "war leader" which Bush prefers. After all it's clearly better to be a war leader than a war-like leader. I expect tomorrows visit will be more like a White House press conference than a Parliament Hill press scrum. If only Marg Princess Warrior was still on the loose.

Mystery Tale

This is the start of the new eSt project by Val, Leslie and myself.

11/15/2004

Union Batman

Did you know that in the 1940's Batman busied himself fighting for social justice. It's true. He often fought for the "little guy" against big busines as shown in this sample from "Coaltown USA" where he puts an exploiting owner of a mining company to task.

Digging in the Dirt vs Dishing it Out

It's easy to think of internet communications as a kind of private conversation but that's not how the law sees it. Case in point this recent libel lawsuit in which an archeologist was awarded $125,000 in damages for a slanderous e-mail that was initiated by an aboriginal man who refered to the archeologist as a grave robber. He also blamed her for the disintegration of his marriage. The judge in the case stated that the malicious e-mail was "calculated to cause the plaintiff the maximum embarrassment and professional harm,"

11/13/2004

Demon 08 Regret

You may regret clicking on the black box.Really. This is a pretty horrid Demon. He is not at all nice. He's a demon after all. See I'm regretting that he came out of my pencil and that I posted him already. But that is how the 100 demons exercise works. Funny that I didn't "find" one yesterday and now this gruesome thing comes up.

11/12/2004

New Bush; Now With Twice the Arrogance

Has anyone else noticed an increase in the arrogant tone in Bush's voice since the election? I don't just mean the words he uses but the emotional force behind them that says "I am rule. I am infallible and you will see this or perish." That's what I'm hearing anyway as he speaks with Tony Blair on the CBC.

No Demons Today

It's fun evoking these demons, but today there aren't any so I'll let them be. Without a doubt they will have their days.

11/11/2004

11/10/2004

Winter Arrived Today

Demon 06 November Darkness

The South

I hesitated to post the 2004 election results map that is placed next to the pre-civil war map because it creates a kind of false relationship between pro-slavery and support for Bush and the Republican party. I still think that this parallel might point to a complex set of cultural and social distinctions that inform the differences between the North-east and West coast states and the rest of the country, but that's only a starting point for conjecture. I don't like this 'us' against 'them' attitude since the reality is that many 'red' states gave large support to democrats and vice versa. My suspicion is that an Urban/rural split is probably a more worthwhile starting point for analysis than a purely north/south split.

I wasn't going to get back into this but since I spent 7 years studying issues of national identity I'm pretty much a bear in honey here.