7/30/2004
Bristol Schoolhouse 1938
One of the projects I'm involved with lately is compiling and restoring old family photos for my father. This is the old school house in Bristol Quebec. It's still standing unoccupied. I drive by it on the way to the cottage. That's my Uncle Rolly in the front row on the right. The boy on the left grew up to be a real imbiber. When I was a child I knew him to be man who had a huge beer gut and a red face. I'm pretty sure he died from drinking related complications. I literally never saw him without a beer and he always smelled of it. This is the first time I've seen this picture and it's a bit sad to think that this little boy would grow up to be that man. We can talk of ifs and buts and choice and chance, of fate and freewill but only one course of events unfolds and once it's done it's done whatever the case might be.
7/29/2004
New Friends
I feel better for Luna today. I found her a new dog gang in the park. I'll have to take some pictures. Dog people are usually very friendly, or at least the ones who socialize. I guess that's like saying social people are very social. In any case it's nice to have a new gang. We all ended up walking the same way home so there we are a gang of six people and five dogs.
The above is of Jack and Luna having breakfast at the cottage. Actually only Jack is having breakfast but it looks like they each have their own table.
Kerry and Edwards
John Kerry and John Edwards remind me of Batman and Robin. Guess who is who. Of course Kerry's dour graven face is a perfect Batman. Deep voiced monotone and masked. He's the man in the shadows. Who is he behind that cowl? Edwards is the younger colourful sidekick. He's got the gosh and the golly. He's not scary like Batman Kerry. In fact one lately has the impression that it's Edwards running for Prez while Kerry stands to the side nodding his elder statesman approval his granite hand resting on Edwards shoulder. I don't have a sense of how these two are being recieved in the US. it's more or less a given that Bush is a shifty creep up here. Granted there are his supporters but look what happened to Steven Harper when even a whisper of "Bush League." wafted over him, at least in the east. In anycase I'd like some American perspectives on Kerry/Edwards.
7/28/2004
Luna
I worry that all this moving is hard on Luna. In the last month we've moved from Montreal to Dave and Sayuri's to the cottage to the apartment back to the cottage and back to the apartment.
She loves the cottage. She's very social and there are a lot of people around. She can come and go as she pleases, sniff the world. Pee at will. Imagine having to wait for scheduled piss times each day. She also had a great social life in Montreal. There's a nice park along the river that I found today and someone told me that there are dog meetings in the evenings so I'll check that out.
She loves the cottage. She's very social and there are a lot of people around. She can come and go as she pleases, sniff the world. Pee at will. Imagine having to wait for scheduled piss times each day. She also had a great social life in Montreal. There's a nice park along the river that I found today and someone told me that there are dog meetings in the evenings so I'll check that out.
Miss Montreal
Yes she's fantastic but we had nowhere left to go. We had squeezed everything there was out of each other. I had nothing left to say to her and she was busy playing with other boys and girls. She's the biggest flirt and everyone seems to fall for her.
Words Wonder and Worry
Now that I am out of the habit of blogging I'm finding it hard to get back into it. I write blog entries in my head as I walk around and thoughts come into my head. This is a long time habit. I write letters, editorials, stories in my head all the time. I've been doing it since I was a child. Actually as I take the time to write this I'm feeling it all coming back. I just had to get back on that horse I guess.
I've been really busy lately visiting family, learning family history, enjoying the outdoors, getting back into life after the move. Today I actual felt landed. Then I felt lonely realizing that I am here and I don't know a lot of people. On the otherhand when I left Montreal most of my old friends had moved. Funny enough in the last few months I was there I started making loads of new friends. Mostly from meeting people in the park. There was a special vibe where you could invite people for drinks and dinner. I really miss that. I don't feel that it's so easy here. People are friendly but seem caught up in routine. That's not a fair judgement considering what a short time I've been here though.
What I love most about this city is that it doesn't feel like a city. The wilderness is very close by. Eventually I'd like to move out there. It means a lot to me to see stars at night, the woods, the wildlife, the water. I started to get that feeling back while at the cottage. I lay down on the dock one night and watched the stars until I felt like I was up there with them, which is sort of true when you consider out little planet is a speck in that vastness. I don't get a chance to feel that often though.
I've been really busy lately visiting family, learning family history, enjoying the outdoors, getting back into life after the move. Today I actual felt landed. Then I felt lonely realizing that I am here and I don't know a lot of people. On the otherhand when I left Montreal most of my old friends had moved. Funny enough in the last few months I was there I started making loads of new friends. Mostly from meeting people in the park. There was a special vibe where you could invite people for drinks and dinner. I really miss that. I don't feel that it's so easy here. People are friendly but seem caught up in routine. That's not a fair judgement considering what a short time I've been here though.
What I love most about this city is that it doesn't feel like a city. The wilderness is very close by. Eventually I'd like to move out there. It means a lot to me to see stars at night, the woods, the wildlife, the water. I started to get that feeling back while at the cottage. I lay down on the dock one night and watched the stars until I felt like I was up there with them, which is sort of true when you consider out little planet is a speck in that vastness. I don't get a chance to feel that often though.
7/27/2004
Back in Blog
Finally I get to sit down for a moment. More acccurately finally I get to sit down near a computer in a non-work related moment.
One thing I do not appreciate about Ottawa is the Francophobia. There's a disntinct and open fear of all things french here. I know the narrative well: "The French are spoiled and selfish. They run everything and yet want more. They are not team-players. It's the same crap you hear about Jewish people. Here in the capital of a bilingual nation French is both master and dog. Montreal was so much more civilized in the linguistic arena.
It is a small town and I am feeling it more everyday, but there are people like me who like the calm and the wilderness at hand, people who like theater and dance and cinema and storytelling but who would never live in the "hell" that goes by the name Toronto.
One thing I do not appreciate about Ottawa is the Francophobia. There's a disntinct and open fear of all things french here. I know the narrative well: "The French are spoiled and selfish. They run everything and yet want more. They are not team-players. It's the same crap you hear about Jewish people. Here in the capital of a bilingual nation French is both master and dog. Montreal was so much more civilized in the linguistic arena.
It is a small town and I am feeling it more everyday, but there are people like me who like the calm and the wilderness at hand, people who like theater and dance and cinema and storytelling but who would never live in the "hell" that goes by the name Toronto.
Old School Punk
Thanks to Gnatterings for this quiz:
Which old school punk lead singer are you?
Johnny Rotten of The Sex Pistols
You fucking rock and you don't give a damn about anyone or anything.
Which old school punk lead singer are you?
Johnny Rotten of The Sex Pistols
You fucking rock and you don't give a damn about anyone or anything.
7/20/2004
Canoe
We have this old cedar canoe that my grandfather bought from the Peterborough Canoe Company in the 1940's. It's in great shape and if it were refinished were worth quite a bit.
Friendly People
I met this beautiful woman today at the bustop. She started talking to me and had this amazing smile. Then I realized she was wearing a black name tag with her name etched in white. She belonged to a church. In anycase she was genuinely nice and waved goodbye from the park bench as my bus pulled away.
The truth is that people are generally very friendly here. I think I come across as the jaded one sometimes.
The truth is that people are generally very friendly here. I think I come across as the jaded one sometimes.
7/14/2004
Dream House III
I dreamed about that house again. To answer some of your questions I don't remember all of my dreams but certain ones do stand out. I've always paid attention to my dreams though so I've "trained" myself to remember details and reflect on content. It's not unusual for me to take a few moments to review my dreams upon waking before I get out of bed. When I see that house I feel dread. I feel trapped. I feel death in the cracks.
I think you are right Cacao that it is something on my mind and so it takes on a life of it's own. The place I lived in in Montreal was in agreat location but it was a rickety old building with lots of faults. When I was married we lived in an old building that was kept in immaculate condition. We had glass cabinets with stripped and varnished wood and moldings, new windows, a pristine hardwood floor and new marble stairs that led up to the apartment. Then we got little Luna and moved to a less fancy apartment but still in good condition. The divorce came and I moved to the crooked old house. Recently I just moved from Montreal to Ottawa so I'm sure that all this house imagery is connected to my sense of self and the move.
Last night I was touring my new neighbourhood and I ran into a woman who had offered me a place in her house in the suburbs. In the basement. Ugh. No. I can't believe I even went to look at it. She is nice enough but it would have been horrible for me. I also so a building that was literally falling apart. The iron webbing was showing through crumbling concrete and a safety barrier was erected all around the base of the ten plus story apartment block. I experienced the same feeling I have in the dreams when I imagined anyone living there. Brrrr.
I think you are right Cacao that it is something on my mind and so it takes on a life of it's own. The place I lived in in Montreal was in agreat location but it was a rickety old building with lots of faults. When I was married we lived in an old building that was kept in immaculate condition. We had glass cabinets with stripped and varnished wood and moldings, new windows, a pristine hardwood floor and new marble stairs that led up to the apartment. Then we got little Luna and moved to a less fancy apartment but still in good condition. The divorce came and I moved to the crooked old house. Recently I just moved from Montreal to Ottawa so I'm sure that all this house imagery is connected to my sense of self and the move.
Last night I was touring my new neighbourhood and I ran into a woman who had offered me a place in her house in the suburbs. In the basement. Ugh. No. I can't believe I even went to look at it. She is nice enough but it would have been horrible for me. I also so a building that was literally falling apart. The iron webbing was showing through crumbling concrete and a safety barrier was erected all around the base of the ten plus story apartment block. I experienced the same feeling I have in the dreams when I imagined anyone living there. Brrrr.
7/08/2004
Dream House II
The house appeared in my dream again last night, but in the dream I was remembering the dreams I had previously and analyzing them. I noted that my friend Alefia was a rabbit in the dream who fled the building as it seemed to be on the verge of collapsing.
One of the stranger things about living in Ottawa is that I lived here last when I was 12 years old so most of my memories are from childhood. yesterday I drove past my old school and I could see the playground where we used to play marbles, where I won the gold medal for the flexed armhang, where I beat up Richard the Blabbermouth, the only fight I ever started. I remember the ugly feeling of the mob cheering me on. I was disgusted with myself afterwards. I passed the spot where the old hobby shop used to be and where I got my first model kit. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hide with glow in the dark parts. I can still see the molded plastic rat on the base and the potion he gripped in his hand. I drove by the field where there used to be a drive-in theatre, where I saw Star Wars and the Blues Brothers in a double feature the summer of 1977 just before we moved to Saudi Arabia. Literally hudreds of memories flooded me as I drove through the old neighbourhood. I've never experienced anything like it. It's disorienting to all of a suden have so many of these dormant memories surface at such a quick rate.
One of the stranger things about living in Ottawa is that I lived here last when I was 12 years old so most of my memories are from childhood. yesterday I drove past my old school and I could see the playground where we used to play marbles, where I won the gold medal for the flexed armhang, where I beat up Richard the Blabbermouth, the only fight I ever started. I remember the ugly feeling of the mob cheering me on. I was disgusted with myself afterwards. I passed the spot where the old hobby shop used to be and where I got my first model kit. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hide with glow in the dark parts. I can still see the molded plastic rat on the base and the potion he gripped in his hand. I drove by the field where there used to be a drive-in theatre, where I saw Star Wars and the Blues Brothers in a double feature the summer of 1977 just before we moved to Saudi Arabia. Literally hudreds of memories flooded me as I drove through the old neighbourhood. I've never experienced anything like it. It's disorienting to all of a suden have so many of these dormant memories surface at such a quick rate.
Dream House
Before I went to Boston I had a dream I was looking for a new apartment. I found this rickety old house by the sea. I climbed the staircase and realized the railing was giving way. The floors sloped and the building swayed. I could see the ocean lapping away at the foundation. I had the same dream two nights in a row with minor variations. Monday night I was in the same house in my dream.
7/06/2004
Cottage Days
On the way to the cottage on Canada Day we were hit by a freak summer storm that came off the river complete with bolts of lightning, a blinding downpour and hail. We had to pull over to the side of the road just before Aylmer. The dog was quivering with terror the whole time. Even stranger was that on the other side of Aylmer the road was bone dry.
Jack and I had a lot of fun playing in the water and making up games. It's exhausting being the fulltime play companion for a bright energetic seven year old boy for 4 days. We also read the Hobbit at night which was fun because for him it is very real. He gets scared and excited and laughs and begs for more. He also has a Hobbit Gameboy game which I'll have to admit was fun for me too.
We found a dead seagull on the beach and buried it. it was hard for Jack to see this poor bird limp and wet tossed on the shore. I told him that everything has a spirit and that the bird's spirit had left it's body and we could wish it well. He seemed to like this. It seemed obvious to him. even trees have spirits, he told me.
We celebrated my Grandmother's 90th birthday on Saturday but it had the pall of a funereal hanging over it. A strangely silent and sombre event. She is well for 90. She eats, talks, walks and thinks so that is great.
I'm moving into my new place in Sandy Hill today. Then back to the cottage for my holidays on Thursday through Monday. Then life starts anew on Laurier St.
Jack and I had a lot of fun playing in the water and making up games. It's exhausting being the fulltime play companion for a bright energetic seven year old boy for 4 days. We also read the Hobbit at night which was fun because for him it is very real. He gets scared and excited and laughs and begs for more. He also has a Hobbit Gameboy game which I'll have to admit was fun for me too.
We found a dead seagull on the beach and buried it. it was hard for Jack to see this poor bird limp and wet tossed on the shore. I told him that everything has a spirit and that the bird's spirit had left it's body and we could wish it well. He seemed to like this. It seemed obvious to him. even trees have spirits, he told me.
We celebrated my Grandmother's 90th birthday on Saturday but it had the pall of a funereal hanging over it. A strangely silent and sombre event. She is well for 90. She eats, talks, walks and thinks so that is great.
I'm moving into my new place in Sandy Hill today. Then back to the cottage for my holidays on Thursday through Monday. Then life starts anew on Laurier St.